A simple and powerful message in the recent trailer of Bollywood movie -Thapad.
Nahi maar sakta. It’s a deal breaker. It’s breaks trust and eliminates respect.
Physical abuse is non-negotiable in a relationship.
Even if it’s just once.
Even if it’s a light slap or a hard one. Even if it’s a push, a shove, a kick or a punch.
Even if your family tells you it’s not that big a deal.
Even if you slap him back.
Even if it’s happened to every second woman you know and they have seemingly happy homes.
A nemeses of sorts to another Bollywood movie-Kabir Singh.
But what about emotional abuse?
Harder to figure out and harder to take a stand against.
Here are a few pointers of what constitutes an emotionally abusive relationship.
It starts way before physical abuse and may not ever lead to it.
1. Isolates you and breaks communication channels with your family and friends so that you are only dependent on him/her, emotionally, financially or physically.
2. Constantly makes you feel guilty about all the problems in his/her life.
2. Manipulates you into doings things you don’t want to.
3. Tries to control you. Your every action, your freedom, your words and even your thought processes.
4. Discourages you or limits your exposure to the things you enjoy doing that make you feel happy.
5. Is jealous of you. Instead of feeling proud of your individual success he/she sulks or fights with you.
6. Doesn’t like you doing anything like having fun without him/her, is an attention seeker who wants you to focus on him/her alone.
Reading another blog (www.jabeenqadri.com/blog/my-journey-with-emotional-abuse) I came across some of these points that I have seen unfold with some people close to me as well. Taking a stand against both types of abuse is essential for a happy life with dignity and healthy relationships.
Salmah Ahmed 